Old Croc

My Crocs are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. The trouble is they look a bit dorkish. Very dorkish truth be told. A plastic, oversized clog that looks designed for Lego Men. Still, it's a beach shoe. You can wear them in the sea and not cut your feet on small stones and broken shells, so that's good.

Mine aren't pink! They're a butch Army Green.

Originally I regarded them as a slipper replacement. What could be better? All comfy and cosy at home in my crocs with no-one to see me except my family, who gave up on my appearance years ago. But then I started wearing them to go to the Embassy DVD library, to nip up the shop for a loaf of bread. Later I began wearing them to go to the supermarket. They're easy to put on see? You don't have to bend down or lace them up, you can just step into them on your way out the door.

Then the worst thing happened. As you probably know it gets pretty hot here in Riyadh: 45 - 50 degress is normal in the Summer. It will probably also come as no surprise to learn that bare feet in plastic shoes in 50 degree heat tend to get sweaty. Very sweaty. I've almost fallen over a couple of times, slipping in my own plastic squelchiness. It was then that I had the idea of.... socks.

What a perfect solution! A thin, soft barrier between my skin and the plastic wall of the shoe. Sweat: Be Gone! Socks also make Crocs even more comfortable, something I thought impossible. Of course this combination does have a disadvantage which I'm sure you don't need me to spell out. It's a look only professional standers can get away with: nurses, dental assistants.

But what am I showing the world with this forsaking of image and style to worship the God of Comfort? An enlightened being at a level of maturity who transcends the phoney, shallow fads of modern living to find spiritual calm, or a grumpy middle-aged man on a slippery slope to senility and sennapods?

I sort of care which, but not enough to take my socks off.